Love You To Death
by pas plus ne detestent
Summary: He's magnetic. He's sexy. He's dangerous. In more ways than one. akuroku// rated for drug references&physical abuse with possiblities. side pairs-zemyx and rikusora metions.
1. prologue

Well, as my old readers have probably figured out, I'm toteffly rewriting this fic; I wasn't satisfied, you know? I knew I could do better once I read it again.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, well, the fangirls would love me.

Love You to Death

PROLOGUE

xxx

Of course he was going to leave home sometime. We just... Didn't know it was going to be like this.

Who am I talking about? Sora. My older brother of two years. We've been best friends since as long as we both can remember. We did everything together; unless Sora went out to do something with Kairi, a friend he's had since Kairi came here. He and I were very different; he was optimistic, spunky, oblivious, obnoxious, annoying, you name it. Me, well, I'm quiet, somewhat shy, and smart-ass, that kind of person. I've also been labeled 'emo' by some people, since I like to keep to myself and only talk to four people, not including teachers and my parents. I've actually been asked by the teachers if I needed counseling; they could set it up for me. By the younger ones, I've been asked if I was cutting myself and if I needed help. The answer was always "no", just in case you were wondering.

But anyway. Sora and I did everything together. We were inseparable for as long as I can remember, which was probably our sandbox days. Yeah, that's about it; sandbox days. I remember the times that we got irritated at each other, and threw sand in each other's hair. We'd push and shove, to only make up about it later. We'd play tag in the backyard with the neighborhood kids. I remember when I used to get jealous when Kairi came over and he left me hanging, only to be saved by Namine not too long after. If one was interested in something, so was the other. Right before he left, Greek mythology was our recent obsession. My favourite was Mercury, the messenger. His was Poseidon; which made hardly any sense, because him and Poseidon are nothing alike. From my gatherings, Poseidon was a moody god. Sora's a happy-go-lucky guy. Whatever.

Sora had one girlfriend and quite a few boyfriends. He was very sexually outgoing, yet, his virginity still remained. Yes, he's gay, if not bisexual, just like me. We had a coming-out party together with our parents, Kairi, and Namine.

But then he was gone.

He ran away with some guy named Riku Mikael. Sora met him when we vacationed to Destiny Islands, on a tour throughout the amazing sites of the island. Riku was a stage-crew member for Hollow Bastion's famous , so we all assumed that it was going to be the first and last time they'd see each other, even if they did talk over the phone every night. Later, we found out it was Sora's idea to go to Hollow Bastion and be together.

He left on out 'coming-out' day (our family considered it a holiday) and he left something outside my door that I almost missed that morning. The note he left for my parents read, in his neat script;

_'Mom and Dad,  
I don't think you're going to be happy with me, but I love Riku, and I want to stay with him. Maybe even forever. I love you all a lot, and don't forget to write!  
Sora'_

He left an address (not a home address, mind you. he didn't want to be found, so he left a P.O box address.), and my mother was bawling her eyes out, crying something that related to Sora going to Destiny University, with my father right behind her, trying to calm her down. It wasn't like they didn't know where or why, they were just depressed about the whole idea. I was creeping back to my room when I saw a box with a paopu patterned wrapping paper in the corner of my eye. I picked it up and carried it back to my room. It wasn't in a package, that much I could say. It was pretty much shaped like a book. I sat on my bed, examining the object to see if I could guess what it was before I opened it. By the time I gave in, I was convinced it was probably one of Sora's favorite books that he hardly let anyone touch, but I was just a tad bit off. Yeah, it was a book-type item, but it wasn't one of Sora's favorites. Hell, it wasn't even Sora's before he left! It was a diary. Or journal, if you prefer using the more "masculine" word. It wasn't girly, but it could have been something a chick would use. It really fit Sora and I. It was based on Greek mythology. On every page, there was a fact about a god. its uses were just any normal, every day journal. Write whatever you want, right? Right.

I could feel the sting at my eyes, and the moisture increase. My throat started to lock up, and my determination not to cry was falling fast. Stray tears started to roll down my cheeks, and I hardly knew why. But two things were for sure; I was happy that he didn't forget about me, but I was sure as hell mad at him for leaving me. That probably sounded like we were together, but we were like siamese twins-- almost, apparently.

That day was the day my life started to go downhill. Fast.

xxx

Author's corner;

Okay, I think I like it this time. To my old readers-- Could you find the edits, adds, and rewrites? To my new readers-- Did it capture your attention? I hope so. I hope it described the relationship between Sora and Roxas like I wanted it to... For the most part, it did.  
Not to sound desperate here, but will you please review for me? Hearing my reader's positive comments make me feel like writing more. But refrain from flaming me. If you don't like yaoi, you can please keep that to yourself, because it might get a bit graphic later. (i'm not making promises.) Constructive criticism helps a lot too, so don't worry about hurting my feelings. Unless it's like, "YER DOIN' IT WRONG, IT SUCKS BECAUSE YOU SUCK AT WRITING!!11!!one!!2" Please no.

Okay bye. Remember to revieww.


	2. chapter one

Days passed since Sora left, and Roxas associated with no one, and he had shown no emotion. He mostly stayed in his room, only coming out to go to the bathroom and eat, and he hadn't eaten with his parents, but instead taken the food up to his room. (no one had really had a family dinner since sora left, anyway.) He was depressed, and he dwelled on his memories of his older brother. Roxas remembered the hyper-active boy, the boy that didn't let anyone get him down. He remembered the constant obsession-swings, the most recent going from Norse mythology to the very much different Greek mythology. He remembered how much of a people-magnet Sora was; there was always a crowd of people surrounding him. Roxas remembered how Sora could relate to everything that ever got you down, no matter how far-fetched. Oh yes, Roxas remembered.

Thinking about Sora really made Roxas think; way too much for Roxas' tastes. There wasn't much to do though, except for think... Unless he went to go see his neighbors. Yeah, that might be a good idea. No, it's not what you think. There's no really hot chick or guy next door that he liked to see. It was just the opposite, actually; there was two twenty-six year old gay men, who were an official couple, living next door to him, and they were Demyx and Zexion. They were a very peculiar pair, too. They were similar, because neither ever shut up, but in different ways. Demyx really reminded you of Sora; Roxas thought of him as an older, mulleted, blond version of Sora, except there was a huge difference between them both-- Sora had no fear, and Demyx was, to put it simply, scared of everything. Everything scared the shit out of him; sudden noises, spiders, snakes, rats, mice, you name it. He was also a great musician, too. He played just about everything, but his favorite instrument was sitar, by far. It was what he was best at, too; Demyx even recorded some of his music onto a CD, and to this day, Roxas still has it on his mp3 player.

Zexion, on the other hand, was a down-to-earth man, and a huge bookworm. But being a bookworm didn't stop Zexion from talking. Get him started on a subject, God, you better be calling Demyx, real quick, because he was the only one that could ever make Zexion be quiet. Zexion was a literature teacher also, so he talked and talked for the whole period you had with him. Not even the bell could shut him up, so, no joke, Demyx literally called him to tell him that he had to shut up. It was a rather funny sight, though. Everyone wondered why he didn't just make a ringtone with Demyx's voice; and Roxas suspected it was because Zexion was a hopeless romantic who liked to talk to his lover every once in awhile.

Roxas used to wish that Demyx and Zexion where his real parents, gay or not, whenever he was in trouble with the parents. When Roxas was about eight, Demyx and Zexion had moved in, and Roxas made friends almost immediately. Demyx used to play cars or action figures with Roxas, and when Roxas got older, Zexion was a great study partner. And, this year, Zexion was his history teacher.

But anyway, back to the story at hand. For the first time in days, Roxas was going to speak to someone, or at least say something other than "Hmph" or "Yeah". He needed to talk, and his parents just wouldn't understand. Demyx and Zexion would always be his first choice, no matter what.

To Roxas' luck, he didn't have to walk far; it was right next door, to the left, to be exact. He knocked on the couple's door, and in a second, almost literally, Demyx was at the door, and Roxas was crushed against the mulleted man's chest, bombarded with "Omigod!"'s and "God, Roxie, I'm so sorry!"'s. And tears. You can't forget the tears. If Demyx stayed there for about ten minutes more, a flood would have formed, but fortunately for Roxas and Roxas' lungs, Zexion put a hand on Demyx's shoulder, saying, "Don't kill him, now." Demyx let go, and nodded vigorously, wiping his eyes. Zexion calmly ushered Roxas inside, pushing Demyx along in front of him. Roxas didn't hesitate.

Zexion pushed both males toward the kitchen table, sitting Demyx down on the chair across from the one Roxas chose. Roxas then noticed his surroundings; it wasn't just house, awake-time, sleep-time, et cetera anymore. It was morning, Demyx and Zexion's house, breakfast time. This house seemed to like to open his eyes; it happened every time he came. No, Roxas didn't think that way normally; I mean that he noticed every little detail when he came to this house. He always thought it was the vibrant aromas that haunted the house. Demyx was a great chef. He cooked all the time, and he cooked everything. Right now, he was just finishing up breakfast, so it smelled, well, like breakfast food. Bacon, eggs, toast, hash browns, and a few more things Roxas didn't recognize- probably from foreign worlds. Zexion fixed Roxas a plate of his own, and because Demyx was still sniffling and looking pathetic, he went ahead and made Demyx a plate too.

"Here, Roxas," Zexion had said, "You look like you haven't eaten well in a couple of days."

Demyx nodded. "You look like you haven't slept well, either." he commented.

Roxas shrugged. "I haven't, really..."

Demyx and Zexion noticed a lot, which is why he liked them both a lot. Right now, neither of his parents would notice, let alone care. Sora was gone, and that's all that mattered to them. 'Don't you care at all?!' they would ask Roxas, 'Your brother is gone! He left us! He doesn't love us anymore!' Oh the drama. It kept Roxas' house... Exciting, to say the least.

"You do know Sora loves you still, don't you, Roxas?" Demyx said. He had calmed down a lot, mainly because he didn't even know what he was crying about. Maybe pity, maybe for effect. Roxas shrugged once more. He didn't really have the heart to have emotion right now.

"He... He didn't tell you anything, did he, Demyx? He didn't tell you he was leaving or anything?"

Demyx frowned and shook his head. "No. I'm sorry. If he did, I would have told you."

Roxas frowned. "Alright then." he sighed. "Thanks guys. For... Everything." Roxas didn't really know what to say. He could say thank you for a lot of things; calming him down, making sure he was okay, protecting him, and most of all, being some of the greatest friends a kid could ever have. He finished his plate and stood, taking it to the sink.

"Are you leaving?" Demyx asked.

"Yeah," Roxas said, "Summer break is over tomorrow. I need to get ready for school. See you tomorrow, Zexion."

Zexion nodded. "Alright. Take care of yourself."

Roxas smiled a bit. "Thanks," He headed for the door, and walked back to his house to lock himself in his room again.

xxx

Monday morning before school was uneventful.

It was like you could imagine. Roxas went through his morning routine trying to not think about Sora, and instead think about the first day of school. It was his junior year-- one year closer toward graduation. He would have one of his adult best friends as a history teacher, and his friends were in his homeroom. He read the books he was supposed to over the summer, so he'd be able to get extra credit right off the bat, or whatever it was they decided to do with them books this year. He dressed in his favourite outfit, which consisted of a lot of white and checkers. He didn't need a lot, seeing as it was the first day of school, so he just grabbed a blue folder full of looseleaf paper. He made sure his hair was in a perfect wave of spikes, and he left his room, closing the door behind him.

Roxas' parents were pretty much exactly the same as the had been ever since Sora left. His mother's eyes were puffy and her cheeks were red and tear-stained. His father's face was unreadable and emotionless. Roxas wasn't surprised at all. In fact, he ignored it. He ignored them both, which was pretty easy, since they said nothing to their remaining son as well. His breakfast consisted of two granola bars with a small cup of milk, and he was out the door on his way to the bus stop.

The bus ride was a blur. Finding a seat was easy. His bus wasn't overloaded, like some other's buses he knew of, so he sat in a seat with what looked like a nervous freshman. From then on, all he saw was black; as soon as he sat, he titled his head back to rest on the seat and he shut his eyes. For the first few moments, his best friend, Hayner, decided to try and strike up conversation, but when Hayner got bored of a non-responsive conversational subject, he left Roxas alone. His bus ride was over soon enough, and the high schoolers filed off the bus, but not without glares of hatred from the middle schoolers. And, sure enough, last year's bout of eighth graders, or the freshmen of the group. The reason for this is a long story, and not for now, of course. But Roxas ignored this as well. His mind was set on going the easy way out today, without thinking of Sora and focusing on anything but something unnessicarily irritating, like these kids holding a grudge.

In home room, he started to talk again, but ever so slightly. Of course, Olette was in his class. You couldn't stay quiet without pleading your case around that girl. And, like any normal teenager with a tragedy on hand, he did not want to do that. Of course, when people start realizing Sora isn't around, they're going to ask-- but that can definitely wait. Hayner was rambling about his wacky family and his goddamn issues with Seifer, and Olette was trying to get him to shut the hell up, for Roxas' sake, of course. Roxas was getting irritated, and you could see it in his face. He was trying to chat it up with Pence, except is was more like listening to Pence talk about his new mastered skateboarding techniques. But then it seemed like they awkwardly stopped talking, and Olette asked, "So, what happened during summer for you, Roxas?"

He didn't know how to answer that. He didn't know if he should tell them about Sora. He'd feel much more comfortable talking about it with Namine first. Namine could listen and give excellent advice. Olette? She was kind of a worry wart and she tried to find ways to get rid of the problem, not help it. Hayner didn't care too much about personal problems, and Pence wasn't an expert in that area either. "Sora left home this summer," All hell broke loose then.

"Oh God, Roxie, I'm so sorry!" Olette all but shrieked, sounding somewhat like the Demyx from the day earlier.

Roxas winced. He should have seen that coming. "Um, yeah, but it's really no big deal,"

"But-"

Being cut off by a teacher had never been so sweet-- Zexion had cut Olette off by demanding silence. He started talking about whatever teachers talked about on the first day of school right away, and from then on, Monday was hard to remember.

Throughout the day, Roxas had gotten his schedule, supply lists, a few new friends, and he hadn't seen Namine all day. He had really been expecting to see her and talk about stuff- Namely Sora. The school day ended quickly enough, so when Roxas went outdoors to wait for his bus along with a crowd of people, he immeadiately searched for short blonde head, much like his own. He saw it eventually, of course, and Namine ended up being quite close to Roxas. He took a few steps toward her and murmured, "Hey, Nami."

Namine was talking to Kairi when Roxas greeted her, and Namine quickly realised that something wasn't right with Roxas today. Of course, she had known the vague reason why he wasn't looking too hot, but since no details were revealed, she wanted to talk to Roxas as much as Roxas wanted to talk to her. Namine told Kairi she'd talk to her later, and she spun around to face the few inches taller boy standing behind her. "Hi," she replied. "So, um, I heard about Sora. I'm really, really sorry about it. I really can't believe that he left. Especially without telling you."

Roxas didn't look at her. He kept his head down, and he studied the concrete that he was standing on. "I don't know what to do, Nam. Sora was my best friend- besides you, of course. I just want to..." He didn't know what he wanted to do. Did he want to get away from it all? To forget? Not really. He just didn't want to think about it, not really something as extreme as forgetting. Besides, Sora was hard to forget.

"You should join a team or something," Namine commented. "You should get your mind away from Sora until you're mentally ready to deal with it. Maybe you could try out for the Struggle team when tryouts start. I think they're in a few days." And she was right. Struggle was a fall and spring sport, so he could join now and then join again when the holidays were over. He could be busy all the time. He could focus on himself for once. "You should talk to Hayner about it," Namine said. "He could help you out. He's really good, you know,"

Roxas considered. He thought. And in a few hours time, he came to like the idea.

xxx

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

So, I hope you liked this _extremely late_ chapter. I think it's a bit short, but I like it, nonetheless. Did it jump around too much? Was it too quick? Out of character? Please tell me if you think so, and I'll try to fix it. (: OH! And a few more things! I was talking about an issue with the bus-riders earlier, right? Well, I just put that in for kicks and giggles. If you really want to hear the story about it, hit me up through review or message. I'll reply, I promise. Also, I'm viewing struggle like fencing or wrestling in this story. You know, like, they switch out and stuff. Whatever. You get it, right? Please review! It means a lot and it makes me want to write more!


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